Not a great place to be. When you’re at work, all you can think about is getting through the day. Forget about the weekend (which is only two days away), thanks to a bad boss you’re only concern is whether you’ll be able to make it to lunch (and it’s already 11:30). You know you’re near your breaking point when you’re at lunch and you seriously consider never going back. And the more you think about it, the better it sounds. Has this ever happened to you?
At first, you probably just shrugged it off. “Things will get better” you try to convince yourself but, as time goes on, they only got worse. Now, you find yourself staying up as late as possible on Sunday night just so you can prolong your time away from the office. Bad coworkers can make life miserable. Bad bosses can make life absolutely unbearable. And unfortunately, they also sign your paycheck.
One of my friends is going through just such a situation with his boss. And I have to tell you, the more I think about his options, the more I realize he is on one sticky wicket.
Why not just talk it over? Wouldn’t that be nice. You schedule a little confab with the boss to talk about your concerns over his or her inadequacies as a leader. Nobody likes to hear negative feedback from a peer let alone a subordinate. If his manager solicits feedback, that’s another story. But even then, he’s got to be careful about how he approaches the subject. Bad bosses don’t talk things over. And even if they do, they usually don’t listen. That’s why they’re bad.
Okay, so he tried talking it over. That didn’t work. His frustration with his boss continues to build. He’s considering going to his boss’s boss. Of all the potential risk associated with confronting your manager with some constructive feedback, this option is a career killer. Whistleblowers think they might be able to fix a bad situation by going a level up. Bad bosses don’t like whistleblowers. First, you’re questioning their ability to manage–hard to swallow for most bosses. But second, and more importantly, you’re making them look bad in front of their boss.
Instead of trying to fight it, maybe he should just go along with most of the decisions the boss makes, no matter how half-baked they are. An okay coping strategy for the short term, but doing just enough to get by will come back to bite him as his manager will see him as a poor performer. If he and his boss have irreconcilable differences, flying under the radar is probably his best strategy. That way, he can stay out of the crosshairs while he plans his exit strategy. As difficult as work can be, he should leave on his own terms, not give his boss ammunition to justify getting rid of him. Bad bosses blame performance issues on others, not themselves.
Trust no one. Okay, maybe that’s part X-Files homage and part overly dramatic, but you definitely don’t want to run the risk of sharing a situation or concern with someone within the organization that could end up coming back to haunt you. Whether intentional or an inadvertent slip of the tongue, I’ve seen this happen far too many times. If you have to confide in someone, make it someone outside of the organization.
If you’re struggling with a bad boss, pick your battles and provide carefully thought out feedback about your boss to your boss, you’ll be able to weather the storm. But you should also have an exit strategy—build and maintain your network and make sure your resume is up to date.
There really are no good solutions. So, in the meantime vent with friends and, hopefully sooner than later, vacate.
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I went through this and “trust no one” is vital.
Remember that others are in the same desperate situation and will reveal things about you to gain at least a little favor with a tyrant. It’s amazing how the pressure from an abusive manager will twist decent people.
The comment that bad bosses are excellent at shifting blame is also very accurate. Don’t count on them ever being found out - these are people who have lived their whole life in this manner and have become very adept.
I went to the boss of my boss and got transferred to a meaningless job. I’m marginalized and isolated now, but it bought me time to look for other work. It’s sad because I liked the company and the benefits were good.
Yep. Once you go to your boss’s boss, you’ve officially passed the point of no return. All else equal, a transfer to a meaningless job is probably still way better than spending another second with a boss who will more than likely have it out for you for going over his or her head.
I hope your job search is going well. Best of luck!